Can we get addicted to love? The Neuroscience of obsession — Dr. Tom Bellamy.

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If you’ve ever found yourself obsessing over someone—you can't stop thinking about them, you're building out fantasies in your head, and your thoughts are starting to feel more like an addiction —you may have experienced limerence.

In this episode, neuroscientist Dr. Tom Bellamy breaks down the mechanics of limerence, explaining how it relates to addiction, reward systems, and emotional regulation. He explores why some people are more prone to limerence, how uncertainty fuels romantic obsession, and what strategies we can use to manage or overcome these overwhelming feelings.

What You’ll Learn:

• ​ What limerence is and how it differs from love

• ​ The brain’s role in romantic obsession

• ​ Why uncertainty and hope intensify limerence

• ​ The connection between limerence and addiction

• ​ How to recognise and navigate limerence in relationships

Where can you learn more?

Check out Tom's incredible work and community on his website and YouTube channel. His resources and rich with information and very engaging.

• ​ Dr. Tom Bellamy’s website: ⁠livingwithlimerence.com⁠

• ​ Dr. Bellamy’s YouTube channel: ⁠Dr. Tom Bellamy on YouTube⁠

Chapters

Transcript: Can we get addicted to love? The Neuroscience of obsession — Dr. Tom Bellamy.

1. 00:00 – Introduction & What is Limerence

2. 02:19 – Tennov’s Research & the “Limerent Object”

3. 07:01 – The Neuroscience of Obsession

4. 07:48 – Who is Prone to Limerence?

5. 11:48 – Triggers: Stress, Isolation & Mood Repair

6. 15:15 – The Five Phases of Limerence

7. 18:32 – Early Warning Signs

8. 26:43 – How Common Is Limerence?

9. 30:28 – Tom’s Personal Story

10. 36:50 – Purposeful Living as Protection

11. 47:35 – Managing Limerence

12. 48:15 – How Limerence Fades

13. 01:13:02 – Resources for Support

14. 01:14:48 – Love vs Limerence

15. 01:21:07 – Journalling & Purpose